Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
