he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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