yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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