You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
