You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
