the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
