it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
