I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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