if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize