Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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