if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
