people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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