he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize