It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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