Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
