TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
