I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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