He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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