PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
