just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
