the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
