that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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