Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
