Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
