Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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