New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
