Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
