i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
