Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I forget how to act sober
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