I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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