She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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