Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
