somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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