what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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