Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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