forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I party with great urgency now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize