i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
