Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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