a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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