just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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