he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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