The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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