i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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