im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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