Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
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