A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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