I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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