Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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