the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
