I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
