you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
