Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
