There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
