While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
