I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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