Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
