Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
