Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
