So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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