Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i out mim tonsoeep
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