we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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