Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
