i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
