it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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