Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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