3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize