I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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