please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
