i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
