She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
