Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
